HEADLINES  FROM THE YEAR: 2029


Ozone  created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh  largest country in the world,  Mexifornia, formerly known as  California. 


White  minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third  language. 

Spotted  Owl plague threatens northwestern United States  crops and  livestock. 


Baby  conceived naturally! Scientists  stumped. 

Couple  petitions court to reinstate heterosexual  marriage.

Iran  still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years  before radioactivity decreases to safe  levels. 

France   pleads for global help after being taken over by   Jamaica.  No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered  nation! 

Castro  finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but  President Chelsea Clinton has banned all  smoking.



 

George  Z.. Bush says he will run for President in  2036. 


 


 Postal  Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail  delivery to Wednesdays only. 



85-year  $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight  loss. 





Average  weight of Americans drops to 250  lbs. 




Global  cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia  and Floruba. 





Japanese  scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now  can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. 


 
Abortion  clinics now available in every 
High School in   United States .    

Senate  still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos  per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and  Fridays. 




Massachusetts executes  last remaining conservative. 




Supreme  Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil  rights.

A  Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony,

They  Had simultaneous Headaches..



Average  height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches  with
Only  3 illegitimate children..  




New  federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters  and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January  2030.. 





IRS  sets lowest tax rate at 75  percent.. 





Floruba  voters still having trouble with voting  machines. 



Now,  send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess  what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing,  except you might make someone smile or be very very  scared.



I  Love This Country! 



It's  The Government That Scares Me!