Handgun Versus Woman
You people who think President George W. Bush was "the dumbest president ever" (and, amazingly, many of you still do), please note that political blogger Josh Ray has this message for you:
I just got this in an email from a good friend who is currently serving in the Marines:
If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?
If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia , would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?
If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to Cinco de Cuatro in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?
If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word advice would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as proof of what a dunce he is?
If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?
If George W. Bushs administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?
If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?
If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?
If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?
If George W.. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plans holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?
If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?
So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive?
Can't think of anything? Neither can I! Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months - so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.
No-common-sense, naive, incompetent, and uninformed voters did this to themselves. Insanity is wide-spread. Real Americans are waking up.
Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a .4 or .5.
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagon al preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10.Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours
11.Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12.In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13.If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.
Navy SEAL's Rules
1. Look very cool in sunglasses
2. Kill every living thing within view
3. Adjust Speedo
4. Check hair in mirror
US Army Rangers Rules
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving
2. Locate individuals requiring killing
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving
US Army Rules
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee
3. Curse bitterly
4. Curse bitterly
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed
6. Curse bitterly
US Air Force Rules
1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what's on HBO=
4. Ask What is a gunfight?'
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption
(And I Love This Next One)
US Navy Rules
1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Deploy Marines
Go Navy !
And the next... (You've got to love the military, and God bless them
all: U.S. Navy Directive 16134 (Inappropriate T-Shirts)
The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the Middle East. (It was obviously directed at the Marines.)
To: All Commands Subject:
Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K
All commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:
1. 'Eat Pork or Die'[both English and Arabic versions]
2. 'Shrine Busters'[Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]
3. 'Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy' [Both English and Arabic versions]
4. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more.' [Both English and Arabic versions]
5. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs.]
6.'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' [Both Arabic and English versions]
7.'Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]
8.'Infidel' [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]
The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.
In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:
1. 'Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800 Daily.'
2. 'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'
All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.
Subject: OIL ( not a joke)
|KENTUCKY COPS DO CARE|
The Lexington, Kentucky Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Kentucky River just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and an Obama T-shirt.
The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
A few jokes.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
Q: What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem and Barack Obama have in common?
A: They all made careers pretending to be black men.
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?
A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin African.
On Halloween you put on a false face and trick people.
This year Barack Obama is going as - Barack Obama.
If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and
It started to sink, who would be saved? .... America!
If Nancy Pelosi has her face lifted one more time she'll have a beard!
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
The Fundamental Transformation of America